Do Not Pass Go: Monica Conyers Exits Stage Left…


♣ The End of An Error… ♣

“It is said that power corrupts, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.”

—David Brin

DETROIT — Her office officially sits empty and she waits at home for her inevitable sentencing to jail on three counts of accepting bribes, a federal offense. There have been few public figures in the 300+ year history of the city of Detroit who have done so much to ruin it’s image in such a short amount of time as Monica Ann Conyers. Lest we forget that this woman hadn’t finished her FIRST term in the land of misfit toys known as the Detroit City Council. I have blogged numerous times on the exploits of negro-tude that have gone on in just the last two years alone in Detroit City Government. With few exceptions (JoAnn Watson thinking that it’s cool to pay $58 in property taxes, anything that comes out of Martha Reeves’ cake hole…), a majority of this foolishness was associated with one of two principles: Monica Conyers and former Mayor and fellow convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick.

Conyers, the wife of US Congressman John Conyers (He was 61 and a lifelong playboy, she was 25…and 7-months pregnant. Oh dear…), was elected to City Council on basically nothing more than name value in 2005, finishing second overall behind current Council President and former Mayor Ken Cockrel, Jr. She had one prior failed run for office a few years earlier, and held lower level positions in the city with the pension board. To say that this woman was a little special is understating things mildly. Here’s a list of some of MonCon’s greatest hits since she was elected in 2005:

  • Monica got into a bar fight at the birthday party for a lawyer just before Christmas 2005. This occurred BEFORE she took office!
  • After laying relatively low for her first year and a half, the fun began in Nov. of 2007. During a session of Council, Conyers chided her fellow council members for arguing (yes…I know…), shortly before calling fellow Council member Sheila Cockrel a “Drunk”.
  • She threatened to shoot Kilpatrick aide DeDan Milton. She later tried to cover it by saying that the “Gun” she was referring to was her Husband (which either means she was threatening to use her husband to get him fired, which is all kinds of illegal, or John is some kinda freak…ewww)
  • In what became her signature moment and one of the more embarrassing moments in recent Detroit memory, during a heated session of council Conyers contradicted herself by complaining about council members interrupting each other, then interrupted JoAnn Watson. When council president Ken Cockrel, Jr. admonished Conyers for her behavior, she angrily responds with this: “You’re not my daddy! You do that at home, not here. Give me some respect cause I’m tired of that. Be respectful!” She then proceeds to call Cockrel “Shrek” twice and told HIM to “Grow Up!” The incident made national news and late night monologues and the video on YouTube has racked up over 100,000 views.
  • Shortly after the Shrek incident, Conyers gets owned by 13-year-old Keiara Bell when a group of school children questioned Conyers about her behavior: “That’s something a second-grader would do!”
  • During last year’s Democratic Natl. Convention in Denver, Police were called to the hotel the Conyers’ were staying in because Monica was throwing a temper tantrum over them not being given a suite.
  • Earlier this year, Conyers, who by this point was interim Council President, ridiculed Councilman Kwame Kenyatta because he wears a hearing aid, and made fun him because of rumors that he had cancer. She also mocked his lack of a college degree. (The best way to shut her up, I mean other than with a racehorse-grade sedative and a ball gag, would be to simply point out her 0-4 record on the Bar Exam considering she loves to brag about her law degree).
  • On March 10, she called into WXYT (97.1 FM) and attempted to chastise hosts Mike Valenti and Detroit News Columnist Terry Foster, for what they were saying about the infamous flap started about Jay Leno doing a free show at the Palace as well as the saga surrounding Cobo Hall. Notice that she insisted on being addressed as “Council President”. (BTW, I love how she said when she was driving her kids home from school, despite the fact that Detroit Police officers were actually taxi-ing her kids back and forth to their suburban schools).
  • Last week, she pled guilty to three counts of bribery in connection with a $1.2 Billion contract (that’s Billion with a B) with Synagro Technologies. It was one of the rare cases when Conyers’ trademark loud mouth was on mute and she showed signs of being humble.

Let’s step away from the fact that she took the bribes and what she did was illegal, for a second. She forfeited what little political credibility she had left for a $6,000 bribe on a $1.2 BILLION contract! Six Grand! Damn! I mean, say what you will about former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, but that dude was gangster with his corruption. He wasn’t picking up the phone unless you were talking six figures, and it took the Feds wiretapping him for months to bring him down. He was shaking down children’s hospitals, the Chicago Tribune, and The Chicago Cubs for upwards of $500K to $1M, and was auctioning off Barack Obama’s seat in the US Senate like it was an X-Box 360 on eBay! I bet that boy had a Buy It Now price! Meanwhile, Monica is in the parking of a McDonald’s on the East Side of Detroit taking envelopes of money that could barely be a down payment on a Ford Focus.

Mind you, I left out her grandstanding and race-baiting during the Cobo Struggle, her abuse of power in her brief time as council president, her brazen arrogance, her feigning ignorance (well…maybe she wasn’t feigning) at not realizing that once Cockrel lost the Mayoral election that she was bumped back to the number two spot, and that by pleading guilty to the bribery charges she a) Became a convicted felon (remember, she allegedly has a Law degree), and b) immediately forfeited her seat when she pled guilty.

So who’s to blame for all this, that answer is simple: The residents of the City of Detroit. In just that 2005 election alone they re-elected Kwame Kilpatrick and added Monica Conyers and Martha Reeves to the City Council. Just those three alone have done damage to Detroit that no recession could do. As a city and a region, we have to, no, we NEED to do better. Monica Conyers is an embarrassment and I can guarantee there are plenty of dummies in this city who would still vote for her in August and November to re-elect her to City Council because they thought she “stood up” for them. Name one thing that she did that did any good for the City of Detroit, other than resign…don’t worry I’ll wait!

But the city shouldn’t be waiting any longer. Start taking responsibility for your city, and stop settling for familiar names, faces, and ideas. Our schools are in shambles, it’s citizens are too busy keeping it real to care about their communities, criminals still stalk the streets, and basic city services are non-existent. We need to get our sh*t together yesterday, stop worrying about the “white man” and the media, and stop electing questionable characters to hold public office. As for MonCon (which could stand for Convict, or Con Artist), you know what to do: Go Directly To Jail. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200. And Don’t Come anywhere near this city again.

Thanks Again. Take Care, God Bless, Always Dare To Be Different, and G.O.M.A.B.!

Until Next Time…Show Some Damn Discipline! Σ

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2 Comments on “Do Not Pass Go: Monica Conyers Exits Stage Left…

  1. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and I have to say that your posts are awesome! This one in particular was well researched and packed with info. My hope is that Detroit is listening. Keep putting your thoughts out there. I hope you land that dream journalist’s job!

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  2. 10%turn out?no wonder you only get bums running for office.i see the new candidates are a good crop of felons,pimps,tax cheats and thieves.you sound like rhode island where we have a one party state government of felons,pimps,tax cheats and thieves.now that felons,pimps,tax cheats and thieves hold the white house, the senate and the house good luck in getting rid of them. we are so screwed!

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