JSC Throwback: Whatever Happened To Standards (Part I: Women)


SOUTHFIELD, Mich. — In the wake of the bloggage I just dropped a couple of days ago about last week’s a-hole all-star game with Congressman Joe, Kanye, and Serena (and lost in all that was the rather infamous United States Championship Worthy A-Hole Speech given by Michael Jordan as he entered the Basketball Hall of Fame) got me to thinking about a blog I wrote in August of 2007 about the degeneration of our standards. This, along with a rather disturbing conversation I recently had where two young women were trying to convince me that there are points in time when it’s cool for a man to hit a woman (a la Chris Brown & Rihanna), made me dip back into the archives and drop it on you first timers here on JSC. It was a two-part blog series, where the first dealt with women, and the second dealt with Men. Just as I did back then, I’m leading off with the ladies first. Remember, this was written two years ago, thus explaining the references to the then yet-to-air Flavor of Love 3 and the infamously controversial and short-lived BET show Hot Ghetto Mess. So without further ado, from 8/30/2007, let’s get it together people and start aiming a lot higher!

♦ We Really Gotta Do Better…And It Starts With Us…

Pride (n.) – Reasonable or Justifiable Self-Respect; Delight or Elation Arising from Some Act, Possession, or Relationship

That’s right, Jason is back on his damned Soapbox again! And as always there’s a reason for it. American society is so devoid of standards that it’s sickening. Look around you, whether it’s your neighborhood, or your best friend’s behavior in public, or the quality of your relationship, or the music you listen to, or the state of American Politics, Standards are at an all-time low. People don’t take nearly enough pride in anything anymore. We’re in too much of a hurry to make the quick buck or get “famous” for whatever and stick it to the next guy. As long as we’re getting paid, we don’t care how we do it. This is the first of a 2-part series where I address the issues of our diminished standards. Parts 1 & 2 address the standards that Men and Women are lacking (especially my fellow Black people) and allowing themselves to sacrifice their pride and dignity for a little bit of fame (and if you get offended by anything I say here…GOOD!). I’ll start with the Ladies, because truthfully, I would expect a lot better from you.

Late last night, I stumbled upon the casting special for Flavor of Love 3! That’s right, in case you didn’t know, there’s gonna be a THIRD season of that nonsense (along with a Second season of I Love New York) as the long national embarrassment continues. Essentially, think of how innane and embarrassing the American Idol auditions are, and multiply it by 500. The most bothersome thing about this is that there are actually women (a lot of them very attractive and seemingly normal) who sent in tons of videos of them making a complete rabbit-ass fool of themselves in the hopes that they are chosen to go to Flavor Flav’s “mansion” and become his one “True Love”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! And what’s worse is watching these women predictably say in every video: “Heeeeyyyy Flav, I Know I Am The One For You Baby, because…” then immediately break into some exaggerated stripper dance and/or point to their Ass and/or Tits. Seeing this, I can’t help but shake my head and I can’t help but ask, how did we get to this point?

Seriously, When did we stop having pride in ourselves!? Pride, in moderation, can be a very good thing. Women, especially Black Women, need to take more Pride in themselves. The Flavor of Love syndrome is apart of a bigger problem that pervades American society. Somewhere in the last 10 years, we became whores for the shine. Ok, let me amend that, we have been whores for the shine since the first TV camera was invented. The difference is that now we no longer hide it. American television in this decade has exposed the seedy under belly of the Black Community. It’s not that I am absolving white people, because clearly they are just as f—ed up as we are, but as an educated Black man, I’m tired of apologizing and trying to explain why we allow ourselves to look like a–holes in public.

Somewhere between 1995 and now, black women lost a lot of self-pride. I remember when that damn Waiting to Exhale came out in 1996. It was like a call to arms for Black women. Mind you, I was a 16-year-old junior at Renaissance High School at the time and was wondering what the deal was with all these angry black chicks. In retrospect, that was the high water mark for Black women in the past 12 years. Just think about the fall out from that movie & the book that preceeded it. Black women were not taking shit off of anyone! In fact, that started the distrubing trend of women doing some grimy shit to dudes who dared to cross them. There were many grown-ass mature women who weren’t allowing themselves to be punked out and mistreated by men, and it was actually a very good thing. Dare I say, it made women take Pride in themselves and realize that they are beautiful and not to be disrespected.

Fast-forward to today, and we have grown ass women (or at least women who should be) allowing Men to talk to them any kind of way and treat them in embarrassing and degrading ways. You have women who would rather try to “upgrade”  or deal with a no-good man, then simply look for a better one. You also have chicks in music videos having money thrown at their ass cheeks and getting copious amounts of Moet and Cristal Sprayed on Them. Yeah, you look hot in that dress, you’d look even hotter in a Graduation Gown or a Business Suit. You go to clubs and the second some no-name rapper throws a fistfull of money in the air (9 times out of 10, they are usually $1 bills), women are hitting the dirty-ass floor and fighting for it like they were $100 Bills. You have women yelling and screaming at each other on National Television, calling each other every disrespectful name you can think of, spitting on each other, and allowing themselves to be degraded by a 50-Year-Old former Hype-Man/Convict/Crack Head all in the name of getting 15 minutes of f—ing fame!? Everyone in this “Live for the Moment” society we’re living in doesn’t even think that we’re setting the table for the future.

In 20 years, a lot of the women on that show, one of which I had the unfortunate honor of having gone to the same high school with, will be in their mid-40s and have kids (and likely grandchildren). We will look back at this decade and say “WTF Was Wrong With Us!?” in much of the same way our parents look back at the 1970s, except we won’t be able to blame it on Marijuana, Cocaine, Acid, or PCP. Most of what we do is done while sober! Hell, you gotta remember that a lot of these broads have kids now! I just wonder how Ms. Deelishus (or however the hell you spell it) can rationalize to her daughter why she let that creepy old black man in a Viking helmet slap her on the ass and kiss on all those other women and she did nothing about it? And it’s not just Flavor Flav, it’s all corners of the spectrum. As Charlie Murphy says on Hot Ghetto Mess: WE GOTTA DO BETTER!

Black Women are the Crown Jewels of this Earth. Regardless of your complexion or skintone. Regardless of your nationality, geography, economic status, or age. They are our Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Educators, Doctors, Nurses, Athletes, Lawyers, Heads of State, Musicians, Artists, and even Soldiers. Black women have been subjected to countless amounts of degredation and torture in the troubled history of this country and continued to stand up. The current state of Black women in this country is shameful because it is allowed to go on unchecked. For every Serena Williams, Jill Scott, Angela Bassett, Lisa Salters and Condoleeza Rice, there’s 20 Flavor of Love Girls! This needs to change and the change starts with you! Like Smokey The Bear used to say “Only You can Prevent Forest Fires”, Only you can change how you are perceived. It’s not the fault of your absent father, your environment, or anything else. If you want to be respected, act like it. Instead of turning a blind eye or refusing to “hate” on someone else who is degrading themselves because they are “Making Money”, Hate on them! We all need to be held to higher standards, even if not to benefit ourselves, but to benefit those who will come after us!

Black Women, Once Again, You Are a Crown Jewel. It’s Time To Shine Again! Good Night & Good Luck!

Thank You for Your Time.  Take Care, God Bless, Always Dare To Be Different…and G.O.M.A.B.

Until Next Time…We STILL Gotta Do Better!  Σ

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