An Ode to My Dad…

What’s good y’all. Jay here. As apart of the evolution of the site, I’ve decided to add a few contributors. That’s right, we’re expanding! They will be people who have awesome viewpoints and amazing personal stories. The first is Jazmine Duke. She is the founder The Female Condition, which is a no holds barred feminist website. Followers of JSC Radio will remember her from her amazing appearance in January on Episode No. 27.

During that show, she mentioned that she is writing a book on her wonderful relationship with her father called “I’m Black and I Have a Dad” which will talk about her experience growing up in Minnesota with a single black father who raised her to be an independent, free-spirited Feminist. On this Father’s Day, she drops this wonderful story about her father and opens a window in to why dude is her ace.

Without further ado, I hand the floor off to Jazmine.

ATLANTA (JSC) — Every year around Father’s Day, I start to wonder, how does a little girl end up being best friends with her father? We live our normal day-to-day together, we have for so long, it isn’t often that I take a look back at how we got here.

I don’t really know where it all began, when exactly we became irrevocably connected to each other.

My dad says that we were connected before I even came out of my mother’s womb. That he would put his hand on her belly, talk to me and I would go crazy.

It’s a sweet visual. My mom with a big pregnant belly, her body working to make me, the human inside her, my dad with his hands on her belly, talking to me, and me kicking excited to hear his voice.

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Jazmine’s book about her life with her dad is due out by Fall 2017.

He told me this story again recently, following it up with ‘before you even came into this world, you knew I was your guy.’

I always enjoy the sentiment my dad brings to my childhood stories. But, I thought that it was just a cute story; something that dad’s say to daughters. I’ve been looking through my early childhood pictures, I started to catch a theme in the photographs that made me think this was more than just a cute story my dad tells.

All of the pictures taken with my dad behind the camera, I have a big Kool-Aid smile. All of the pictures where I am looking at my dad, the same big, silly grin is on my face. And then there are the pictures other people took of me with my dad, my face is … less than interested. My expression seems to convey ‘why are they interrupting us?’ To anyone shooting pictures of us together.

Maybe, my dad is right. Maybe we were connected before I even arrived in the world. Or maybe, it was that before I came out of the womb he had already decided that I was the most important part of his life.

My Dad Saved My Life

And, I am not talking figuratively or symbolically – my dad literally saved my life once.

I was around 5 or 6 years old and we were at a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. For the first 10 or so years of my life, I had long hair just about down to my waist.

Backstory: My dad prefers long hair. When I was a little girl, he saw no reason why I needed to cut my hair, at all. And, I mean at all, I had terribly long, damaged hair for most of my youth. When I was 12, my mom went rogue and took me to get a haircut. I got it short with the long front like T-Boz from TLC. Dad was mad; literally everyone else was happy.

JazDad1Big-eyed, little Jazmine wanted to get on one of the kiddie rides at Chuck E. Cheese. So I did. I hopped in a seat on a ride that took me up and around a circle over and over until the ride completed. My dad stood next to me as the ride took me round and round. While the ride was still in process my dad noticed something alarming, my long hair had gotten stuck in the machine and as the ride went round it was further pulling my hair and head back into the machine. Immediately aware that if the ride pulled my hair much further, it would likely snap my neck, my dad began to recruit help from the staff at Chuck E. Cheese.

The problem was, no one knew how to shut the machine off.

There we were, my head being pulled back by the machine inch by inch and no one on the staff able to help us. My dad did what he knew how to do, the only thing left to do, he sacrificed him to save me.

With little thought or care for his own safety, he lifted the machine up and pulled it away from the wall, unplugging the ride, and setting it back on the floor.

He quickly grabbed me, lifting me out of the seat and unwrapping my hair from the ride’s grap. The time between getting me out of the ride and when the ambulance arrived were all a blur.

When the ambulance arrived, the EMT was paying special attention to my dad. Pushing him with growing urgency to get checked out ASAP. My dad, annoyed with the attention being paid to him, insisted that I was checked out first.

In all the commotion, he failed to notice that his arm was completely out of the socket, dangling limp next to his body.

On this Father’s Day, our 32nd together. I’d like to thank my dad for being my favorite human. I wish everyone had what we have.

Jazmine Duke is a contributor to Follow her on Twitter at @jazminepduke and check out The Female Condition for all kinds stories on Women’s Health, Sexuality, Feminism, and more.


Thanks for showing support to the site. And I would like to wish all of the Fathers, Stepfathers, Grandfathers, Uncles, and Big Brothers who are father figures a Happy Father’s Day. You guys deserve it. Peace Y’all.

Until Next Time, That’s The Way It Is. Sunday, June 18, 2017.

Take Care, God Bless, Always Dare to Be Different, and G.O.M.A.B. Σ